chubby_cupcake

i am so very excited. i am very.... student-y? budget-aware? cash-flow-cash-no? lifestyle-impaired? ...very something poor. i need to find ways to entertain myself! now, lately, i have definately been entertained. i've been having a great ol' time! but i'm starting to think i should be a little more aware of it. right?
i'm also not drinking. i guess that's also what the issue is, too. i've been having a great time. i haven't always been drinking. but now that i'm not going to drink anymore... well, i guess i have to think about things a bit. i mean, it's the thing... appreciating things more, i guess. i need to call people. i had this mindset that the only good thing was to go and have a party or something. obviously that's not true. i have so much fun doing random spastic things, or simple things... or even nothing things. things that aren't even things. what have i been doing with my time? plenty, or nothing? who knows?
i think the main point of this nonsense is that i'm happy, and i need to keep on top of my stuff and do my homework.

i've finally figured out what i want to eat. all i want is veggies! raw, delicious veggies.

and guess what... eating whipped cream makes me high on nitrous oxide. WHY would people take that for fun?!?!?! ick. it made me so sick today.

i have orange pepper and cucumber and tomato in a bowl and it is SOOOO GOOD. finally i will feel healthy. these tomatoes are particularly delicious.

what a wonderful weekend i've had. i lost my pants. does weekend really count as thursday to monday? i think so.

i work wednesday to sunday. i go to college monday to thursday. that spells no days off... or... is it... ALL the days off?

I've been taking advantage of my free time these days. so many adventures to be had! ...so many rules to be broken! i'm having fun. but i'm exhausted!

i was supposed to go to book club tonight, but i just had to bail. i need SOME time at home! ..but i ate some cauliflower, and i feel better, and maybe i SHOULD go. but i know i'll be so tired if i do! ...plus, i'm not massively ahead in the book like i should be. oh well. me and the internet... our little secret.

so... sweet. i hope my friends like the presents i bought them...

sex is SO this season.

i think i got high doing it.

now, the quesion: keep doing it? or chill the fuck out and find a recovery group?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA yeah i thought that was pretty funny too.

...so this is my first entry...

i wonder how i'm going to write all this? Diary-style, for my eyes only... or good and censored? ...it's me, so probably some embarassing combination of the two. GOOD.

I don't sleep much anymore. Not like i used to anyway! i think i like it. who knows, it might change.

I don't eat meat anymore. So far. Unless.

Um. so i'm very shy. but not really! there is some question as to how long it's going to take for me to make the switch... "not saying anything", to "babble babble talk talk talk speak speak speak babble not shutting up yet etcetera" nervous blabber.

here is something someone wrote in my high school agenda once:

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah BLAH!
(rozi has a talk-gasm)

soooooooooooooon i think. it's cute and fun? ...gosh... !?!?!

.................

no it isn't!